New stories new plots.
A hopeful new novel now.
One word at a time.
Two days in NYC, three broadway shows, the Museum of Modern Art, some insane cookies, it’s been a banner week. I always find New York City inspirational. I have since I was a small child growing up on Long Island. I visited often when I was a child, I lived there for two or three years as an adult and now I find myself back in love with it. I’ve lived in Berkshire County Massachusetts for the past four years and just started finding my way back last year. I didn’t realize how easy it was to get there, and was always worried about how expensive it would be. I spend $150 on tickets to the shows I saw and that’s it. There are ways to do things inexpensively in NYC, you just have to do the work. Go to the TKTS booth, find rush tickets, try lotteries, etc.
I didn’t do much writing, except journaling and the haiku’s that you’ve seen on the site but I’ve been inspired to do more. Ideas, plot lines, romances they are all running through my veins as I type this. I read this article, Stephen King’s Top 20 Rules for Writers, in it he says that it shouldn’t take more than three months to write a book. So, starting tomorrow, I’m going to be working on that. I’ll continue my haiku’s and checking in with you all but I’m going to commit. And I’m going write, it might be crap but I’m going to do the work. That’s what it all comes down to right? Doing the work?
Trip always leave me inspired, and that’s how I feel right now. I’m also tired, exhausted, want to quit my job so I can spend all my time at my computer etc., but I’ll work through those feelings. Have a great week everyone and thanks for taking the time to read this!
Customers are crazy.
They all ask stupid questions.
But they pay my bills.
Man, these hips don’t lie.
Two days walking in New York.
I’m blissfully tired.
I’m sitting on a big, red, fluffy chair in my friends upper west side apartment. I just felt my adult life flash in front of me. If I had stayed on the career path I was on almost twenty years ago this could be my life. And it doesn’t seem bad.
I went to see the musical If/Then last night, which is why I’m so contemplative. This is not a rabbit hole I want to go down. I realize that I would not have had the experiences I’ve had if I had stayed here. For me it’s hard to look back and not be angry at myself but I know that is not healthy. Instead I will think about the experiences I’ve had and the life I’ve been able lead. >
I’m down to the wire.
An amazing broadway day.
Please sleep well my friends.
New York City in morning.
Broadway Shows and time with friends.
Boy do I need this.
Need to spoil myself.
Seven hundred thread count sheets.
I can’t wait for bed.
I journal every morning. It’s the first thing I do when I get up. Ok, the first thing I do is get a cup of black tea, go to the bathroom and then I journal. We’re getting too personal and, frankly, I all ready feel uncomfortable with this post. Moving on. I’ve been listening to a podcast called ‘Industry Standard’ hosted by Barry Katz, who is an entertainment executive. I love the entertainment industry so I find it fascinating. I’ve listened to three episodes so far and one theme I hear him say often is that most highly creative people have had something traumatic happen to them in their younger lives and they are trying to fill that hole with their creativity. I might not have that exactly right but that’s what I’ve gotten out of it. This caused me to have an epiphany this morning. I’m being dramatic because I’ve actually been thinking about this for days.
I was born with two holes in my heart. My life was traumatic before I even got out of my mothers stomach. What if I’ve been trying to fill the ‘holes’ left by that trauma my entire life? Filling them with food, with money, with drinking? I wish I could add sex to that list. Ugh.
I have been. And I’ve been filling it with things that are detrimental to me. This is where I change. This is where I stop spending my money on things that I don’t need just because I think they are going to make me happy. This is where I stop drinking because I think somehow I’ll meet someone. This is where I stop filling my body with sugar and fat because I feel empty. This is where I stop feeling empty.
If you are ever wondering why I have this blog, this is it. Some times these answers are right in front of you but you have to do the work to bring them out. This is my way of doing the work. I’ve known for a long time that if I didn’t do something to fill the voids in my life I’d continue to go with food. I’m not addicted to food. I’m addicted to feeling empty. It’s time to fill myself up!